Well,we all have had the laughs at the mistakes made by so-called computer-illiterate or just plain stupid computer users allegedly calling in to tech support. Using the mouse as a foot pedal, the cd tray as a drink holder, holding a page to the screen to fax it, etc. Well Yuk yuk . . . . there is another side to this.

I have been on both sides, and believe me, the support end is not without fault. The help desk has a duty, it seems to me, to offer solutions that at least make sense. The good ones also get a sense of the level of expertise or the caller, and tailor the response accordingly. For instance if the user calls in about an advanced topic, like registry keys or security rights, they don't start with explaining where the start button is. In many cases the help desk simply doesn't listen or try to understand the real problem, so can not resolve it.

Here is the example that got me going on this.

I needed a remote control utility. I downloaded several shareware trial programs, and intended to buy the one that worked the best.

The best one disqualified itself. It had a window on starting that said "You have 30 days left in the trial period" ,"You have 29 days left in the trial period", "You have 28 . . ." I used it for a week, then suddenly it jumped to 9 days, and would not let me continue without "registration" i.e. paying. I sent them an e-mail as follows:

Subject: radmin evaluation
Sirs:
Just thought you should know I am moving on to another product because of the nonsense of your registration.
I have V2.1 for win9x on trial period, I have used it one week, but it won't let me continue. It comes up with:
Server side reports:
Your 30-day evaluation period will expire in 9 days.
Remember to register before then.

Then it locks me out. What's with that? do I have 9 more days or not?
rgb
The ignorant response from them?
Hello
This means that server trial perion will ent in 9 days. You should register it. (sic)
Best Regards
Denis Senin
Famatech Support
Duh? I won't even list the many problems with this reply, including the typos.

I saw a list on a blog somewhere that started me on this list of phrases. I tried to give them category or list name or something like "Rules" or " Familiar signs we didn't need to see" but they don't seem to have a natural name, so I'll just let them speak for themselves. The assignment for the peanut gallery is to help me with the list name and send me more to add to the list.
===========================================
Please leave area as clean as you found it when entering.
No animals were harmed in the production of this page.
Hold your applause until all have been announced.
Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Satisfaction guaranteed; return for full refund.
Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.
Nutritional need is not established in humans.
Product is sold by weight and not by volume.
Placing bag over head may cause suffocation.
If condition persists, consult your physician
Contents may have settled during shipment.
Do not fold, staple, spindle or mutilate.
Prices subject to change without notice.
Freshest if used before date specified.
Valid only at participating locations
If swallowed, do not induce vomiting.
Wash hands before returning to work.
Do not remove under penalty of law.
Bridge freezes before road surface.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
Push cap down and turn to open.
You need not be present to win..
No shirt, no shoes, no service.
You’ve been a great audience.
Part of a daily balanced diet.
Void where prohibited by law..
Apply only to affected areas.
Other restrictions may apply.
Close cover before striking.
Smoking or non-smoking?
No purchase is necessary.
Shake well before using.
Sign on the dotted line.
Consume in moderation.
Don't try this at home.
Tear along dotted line.
Pull down and tear up.
Your mileage may vary.
For internal use only.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Use only as directed.
Don’t feed the bears.
Press 1 for English.
Slippery when wet.
Scenic area ahead.
Limited Warranty.
Results may vary.
As seen on TV..
Post no bills.
Please flush.
Wet Paint.
Recycle
Quiet.

I heard a funny ad on the radio a couple of times. Radio Shack didn't mean it to be funny, but it is so much a sign of the times that it is funny to my way of thinking. They are shouting and making a big deal that they won't be asking for your name and address at the counter any more! This is their ad campaign? They openly state that it's something people hate, and they are great because they are stopping. Duh? They have been doing it for 10 years, and they only figured this out now?

Sort of like Microsoft announcing last year that the XP version of their Office products would not have that annoying stupid animated Clippie "help" feature that everybody hated. This was the focus of the whole introduction of the new product! They won't annoy you by default this year. (Of course you can choose to turn on that "feature" if you just have to be annoyed)

I have heard the motto,"Hit me real hard, since it will feel so much better when you stop". But I never expected companies would think that we will love them for stopping a bad practice that they shouldn't have done in the first place. Crazy times!

What's next. Dupont developing a public relations ploy that says,"We made Napalm and land mines in the past, but now we don't - aren't we great?"

Come to think of it, this "rehabilitation is great" theme has been shoved in our face by celebrities for years. If a big star has a hiatus in the career-itis, we just have to love them if they were at the Betty Ford clinic, or "had a cocaine problem, went to rehab, and now are better than ever. Certainly more worthy than the boring star who kept clean and sober for all that time.

This information is true. I used to lie all the time. Half the stuff I wrote was false, but I am not going to lie at all this year, so trust me!

I just heard that the weather was going to be "bad" tomorrow. Who said so? I really think we should get away from calling weather bad when it's severe, or not to our convenience, don't you? Of course if it's a tornado, or if it damages homes or people, that's another thing. But is it bad when It is just windy or snowing, or rainy or whatever? Some of my most intensely enjoyable times are when there is "bad" weather.

Others can have their "nice summer day for a picnic" or something as "good" weather, and I agree, but weather gets better than that for me. Some of these brutal humid hot days of Virginia summers where you had to cease all activity were not my idea of perfection, I can say that.

Picture with me a strangely gusty and dark afternoon, whatever the season, when you can hear and feel the wind blowing right through you. Just look at the low charcoal and silver clouds moving like layers at different speeds overhead, and the trees whipping and swooshing erratically. Your senses are on edge, feeling like there is something special going on --- and there is. Somehow images of Hardy's heath, or some Dracula movie, or some memory of wild dreams flash in your mind, and it is just exhilarating! Takes my breath away.

Give me a winter morning after a fresh snow, where the snow covers absolutely everything in sight, down to the twigs on the trees. It is so cold that the snow squeaks as you step on it. The snow has long since stopped falling, and you keep looking to see if anything will move, but it doesn't. Just everything is crystalline and spotless. It is so still that you think you could hear a snowflake fall. Just standing there at that moment, breathing it in, feeling like you are a part of it, just is a spiritual high beyond words.

It is odd how we people run from rain showers like it was acid falling or something. Of course we all have ingrained in us the civilized shell that wants to keep dry our precious clothing, purses and wallets, hair etc, etc. I am that way too when you have to look presentable or keep healthy. But I so often find myself in a different camp. I try to back up a little and enjoy the rain.

Two extremes of rain especially thrill me. One is when rain is so gentle and fine you can hardly see it. It's stronger than a mist, since it clearly is directional - the drops are intent on getting to the ground like thousands of little spiders descending on threads. That sprizzy rain, particularly when it is warm, just is one of those things in nature that makes me feel pleasure, how else can I explain it?

The opposite also grabs my attention. Think of a roaring, driving rain coming down in pounding, relentless blinding fashion, obscuring everything around you. If you are in the car, you pull over, knowing it is hopeless to proceed. If you are on a screened porch, you scoot back as far as you can, watching the torrents, knowing it can't last much longer, wondering how it kept it up this long. The power for a fleeting second reminds you of standing very close to the edge of Niagara river, just before the falls, peering into the strangely transparent green steel deep water moving at overpowering speed over the edge. I can almost recreate the feeling from memory. But although Everly Brothers tried to convince me otherwise years ago, you have to be there, you can't bring it totally back in a dream. All of these natural highs I'm describing here are special. The feeling of being overpowered by the beauty or the power is a key to it. I know I should be able to tie religion into this some way, but it is beyond my understanding to do that.

"Mondegreen"
Here is a topic I robbed from an e-mail from my sister Leah a couple of years ago. She was quoting an article by Jon Carroll, SF Chronicle columnist. It is a useful and fun concept. Send me an e-mail with mondegreens of your own. rgb@who.net

It seems that a writer named Sylvia Wright coined the word mondegreen. It is defined as a mishearing of a popular phrase or song lyric. However, an example defines it better: Have you heard an innocent child sing the Christmas Carol “Silent Night”, and sing of that man, Round John Virgin?

I was reminded of this when I sent my brother Scott the words to the old song Grass shack in Kealakekua Hawaii and he confessed his reaction to the line "I want to go back to my fish and poi". "I always thought this was "I wanna go back to my fishin' poi" and I imagined a fishin' poi to be some cool grass roofed deck where folks would stand and fish from", he said.

Wright coined the word mondegreen as the result a similar experience. As a child she heard the Scottish ballad "The Bonny Earl of Murray" and had believed that one stanza went like this: Ye Highlands and Ye Lowlands Oh where hae you been? They hae slay the Earl of Murray, And Lady Mondegreen.

Poor Lady Mondegreen, thought Sylvia Wright. A tragic hero and heroine dying together. It was poetic. She realized some years later that what they had actually done was slay the Earl of Murray and lay him on the green, Wright was so upset that she dedicated the confusion to Lady Mondegreen.

A few more examples are in order:

"Gladly, the cross-eyed bear" (Known to the rest of us as that fine old hymn "Gladly The Cross I'd Bear").

"There's a bathroom on the right," a mishearing of "There's a bad moon on the rise" from the old Creedence Clearwater song "Bad Moon Rising."

"Excuse me while I kiss this guy," actually "Excuse me while I kiss the sky" from the Jimi Hendrix song "Purple Haze." Mr. Hendrix was himself aware that he had been Mondegreened, and would occasionally, in performance, actually kiss a guy after saying that line.

The oldie song "Groovin" has a Mondegreen. In that song, the Rascals were singing "You and me endlessly," but many people heard "You and me and Leslie,"

The pledge of allegiance is a hotbed of Mondegreens. How about "I pledge a lesion to the flag, of the United States of America, and to the republic for Richard Stans, one naked, under god, individual, with liver tea and just this for all."

World War II was fought between the Zees and the Not Zees.

You won’t be surprised to hear that both Coke and Pepsi came in "cheerleader size." Sometimes called "two liter size."

You might be driving a "Jeep Parakeet," or a "Jeep Cherokee."

A rumor has it that a couple of lawyers in town just sat around on the weekend and “drank themselves to Bolivia”.

If you move breakable things up high when children are around, you are moving them "out of arm's sway."

Here are more from song lyrics: Remember on the East Side and the West Side when me and Mamie O'Rourke "risked our lives in traffic"? Remember that moment in "I'm in the Mood for Love" when the singer reveals his favorite nickname for his beloved? I'm in the mood for love, Simply because you're near me, Funny Butt, when you're near me ...

There was the Bob Dylan song with the refrain: "Dead ants are my friends, they're blowin' in the wind." There was the great Crystal Gayle song "Doughnuts Make Your Brown Eyes Blue." Some heard Jose Feliciano's famous recording of "Feliz Navidad" as "Police naughty dog".

A popular Spanish song, "One Ton Tomato."

Paul McCartney Mondegreens: The lines of French in "Michelle" were heard as "Michelle, ma bell, Sunday monkey won't play piano song, play piano song." "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" lyrics "the girl with kaleidoscope eyes" could be "the girl with colitis goes by."

And of course the old Christmas carol, "sleep in heavenly peas."

Jose' can you see?

RGB

The LEGO company has offices in Connecticut, and recently there were statements that they are moving away soon. However in the interim they have a fascinating display of lego things in downtown Hartford. The figures are on the vaulted walkway bridge area from the downtown , over some roads, to the riverfront, leading to the Adrian's Landing area. Hartford is in the middle of a huge city improvement project beside the river, massive construction and plans for all sorts of things. It has been quite a success so far, and has private and public funding.

Anyhow, we took some pictures of some of these, and had some fun. Click this link to see a couple of pages of images. Don't miss the dogs and Martha's lego clone.

Here's an example of a lego lady who failed the audition to On-Q

I am going to see Meredith tomorrow, figuring it will be the last time in a while I will see her, and of course I don't want Grandma to go off without my making contact, hoping she will make the trip smoothly.

Leah mentioned her letters home to mom, and how they reflected a chatty side, not delving into real life. My letters in the same way were superficial, but I can't believe I wrote so many. The ones from college were more like little duty reports, but the ones from Vietnam were interesting, and reflected the really interesting circumstances that I found myself. I suppose we all get more invigorated and interested when the things going on around us are stimulating. I wonder why I often find myself shunning everyday situations that have unpredictable or exciting sides to them, rather than seeking them out, since it gives me such pleasure when I get there?

1940 was a little before my time in LeRoy, New York, and a little before my time anywhere, but here are two images from the archives:

Heim & McHardy Service Station, 55 Main St. Est. 1931

LeRoy Hardware Co. 12 Main St. Est. 1870

In fiddling with this Talcottville web site and getting interested in the people and history of the town, many interesting things have popped up. One of note is the story of Samuel Huntington, the first president of the United States.


Yes, you heard me. the first president of the United States. Let me tell you . . . .The rest . . . of the story.

Blackie Huntington , who lived in Talcottville in the 1930's I think, was a contractor, a house builder and apparently an all around "I can do it" guy who could do anything he set out to. He built several sturdy and lasting houses in the area that I know of. Anyhow, Blackie had two daughters, one is 79 year old Jean Monaghan, whom we know, and her late sister, who is the mother of Jennifer, a lawyer friend here in town. So much for the present.

Up the family tree, Blackie's father or grandfather,(not sure) was the brother of my subject character, Samuel Huntingon, of Windham CT., the first president . yadda yadda yadda. Samuel Huntington had no children, but he had many siblings.most of them had children. I bet the genealogy books are quite thick.

Samuel Huntington was a politician and an aristocrat, but he had come from modest beginnings on a rural farm as a boy. He was Governor of Connecticut something like 10 times, and was involved in the early colonial efforts to get free of English rule, back when the Boston Tea Party was going on an all that. On July 4, 1776, he was one of Connecticut's signers of the Declaration of Independence. The esteem with which he was held by Congress was evidenced by his election in 1779 to the first of two terms as president of the Continental Congress.

He proponents argue:.
1. He negotiated the signing of The Articles of Confederation,
2. While he was president of the Continental Congress in 1781, the Articles of Confederation went into effect
3. This was the first official time the words "these United States" appears in print.

Therefore, he was, technically, the first president of The United States.

Do you buy that?

Gordon got married July 20.
Gordon seems to be turning things around (I say tentatively and hopefully).
It's tough, but they both are working hard to make things work.
Sherry is great and has two cute boys that get along amazingly well with Gordon, too.
After 1200 or so miles, we're back home.
And miles to go before we sleep.

Martha and I just participated in the wedding of my friend Mike. I met mike in a computer class the first year I was here. He was then a 40+ bachelor, maybe even resigned to stay that way for a while. Mike is a great guy, and his friendship has meant a lot to me. In the last year miracles did happen. He met a girl (quite by chance) from Florida, visiting in his neighborhood. She had been a childhood friend of his until about 12 years old, then moved away, and was just back there looking at her old house. She also is a great girl. They hit it off, each made several trips and endless phone calls back and forth from and to Florida, then she moved here, and the rest is history.

It was a Catholic church wedding in a quite plain church, but the priest, out of retirement for this, was such a pleasant and fetching man, it was a wonderful rehearsal and wedding service. We were both in the wedding party, tuxed and dolled up for the first time in a while, and I'm biased, but we looked pretty good, and weren't the oldest nor the oldest looking. Mike is the embodiment of Felix in the odd couple in his neatnik behavior. He used to photograph weddings himself, and had been active in planning this thing. He produced the CD's of mp3's (napster style) for the reception, planning the timing down to the minute. He had printed instructions to the photographer, the caterer, and others. My best picture of the whole day, I think, that will be funnier to others than to him, was when we were rushing, getting in the car at his house to go to the church, at the last minute, he had to delay one more time to empty the tiny bit of trash in the kitchen basket, and put in a new plastic liner, of course.

Felix

Mike and Mona - (women in back corner were great singers - reminded me of Leah's voice)

Here's Martha in a silly picture of girls and mike

I cleverly got no pictures of myself.

Below I linked to some pictures of things, not people. Just to show you I do have a people side, here are 15 of my favorite people pictures, not all taken by me. I know the family has seen most of these, but the things didn't complain, so I hope the people are as forgiving.

http://members.localnet.com/~rgb2000/log/people/page_03.htm

I have always gravitatied to taking pictures of things,
not people. Martha would come back from a family thing and would have pictures
of the relatives, and I would have pictures of the trees or something. So naturally
in my few years of taking digital pictures, I have leaned the same way. I put
a link here to some of my pictures I have taken of designs and scenes that just
sort of yelled to me to take the shot. I should have ignored the call in many
cases, but I keep thinking I will do something with the images. Well here are
two pages of them, but PLEASE don't waste the time to look at all of them, just
let the thumbnails load, then laugh with me or at me at some of the pictures
I thought were worth taking .http://members.localnet.com/~rgb2000/log/page_01.htm

 

I am starting a website for our community group, Historic Talcottville Association that is more interesting so far for the residents, since I got started when I took pictures of the whole town to help with our Historic District designation. If you want to check it out, it is www.talcottville.org.

Roger Miller once had an album called "Sorry I Haven't Written for so Long" (or something like that), when he had been silent in songwriting for quite a few years. Well, I feel like I should say,"Sorry I haven't blogged for so long"

To make up for it, I bring you the latest hot news. I swear this came right off the AP wire! No kidding. Well, yes, kidding, but no kidding . . . oh, you know what I mean.

---

Saturday, June 15, 2002
Buddhist Funeral Rites Held for Ape

BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) - They flocked to his extravagant wedding, avidly followed his spicy love life and on Saturday came to bid farewell to Mike, Thailand's celebrity ape.

Thai fans by the hundreds arrived to take part in Buddhist funeral rites for the gentle orangutan who died Thursday at the age of 17 of complications from water in the lungs.

He is to be buried Sunday beneath his own statue in the Sa Kaew Zoo at Lopburi, 70 miles north of Bangkok, where he and his family were the star attractions for years.

``Mike has helped the province's economy a great deal. He attracted millions of baht (hundreds of thousands of dollars) and created lots of jobs for local residents. This is the best we can do for him to ensure his happy life after death,'' said Yongyuth Kitwatananuson, a local businessman who has promoted Lopburi as a haven for free-roaming monkeys.

Buddhist chants and a bathing ceremony, in which holy water is poured over the hands of the deceased, are to be held in the zoo.

Mike's wife Susu and offspring Lamyai will be present at the funeral, wearing black outfits provided by the zoo staff.

Every year, Yongyuth offers the monkeys a feast of their favorite foods laid out on tables. The event is popular with Thai and foreign tourists.

---

An Item I saw on townhall.com got me thinking again:

'Carnivore' at center of FBI email glitch.
Critics of the Carnivore program were vindicated yesterday when the FBI released a memo acknowledging that the Carnivore email wiretapping system was capturing emails of innocent citizens. Washington Post: FBI spokesman John Collingwood said yesterday that the case was a rare mistake that resulted from technical problems encountered by an Internet service provider, not by the FBI.

If you haven't focused on this subject, here it is. For a while, previously without public knowledge, the internet e-mail servers, chat servers, and much trunk traffic on the internet has been silently filtered and harvested by cryptic invasive software by big brother, aptly dubbed Carnivore. This is the way they have routed out predatory pedophiles and child pornographers, etc. certainly a goal that you can't argue with. But at what price to the rest of us? I lose faith in humanity periodically, but really, what percentage of Americans, or internet users, for that matter, are in that class? Just imagine the guy who e-mails his brother, let's say, and innocently types, "Bring the baby when you come to Phoenix, I want to get some photos. I can't wait!" This could light a big alarm at spook central, and he could get an unexpected visit from the FBI! Do we want this? (Honey, come down and bail me out! Don't worry, it was a mistake by the ISP, not the FBI so it's O.K.)

I guess we have to watch out that the institutions that we need to keep us civilized don't become a threat to ourselves.

Thomas Jefferson said: "When the government fears the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny."

When we were having so much trouble with Gordon in his teens, There was a point when we feared the social worker whom WE called to help, because they told us they were bound to report us in certain cases (implying that we were child abusers or something). Some help they were. {insert sarcastic emoticon here}

I need some help from the minds of the internet. I bought this thing at a yard sale - they call them tag sales here in CT. I only paid a buck for it, but it was marked " OLD TOOL" I puzzled over it for a while, then told the seller that I give up - please give me a clue. He said he thought he got it from his father, but he wasn't sure what it was! Dern. It is made of wood, clearly hand made for a very specific purpose. It was well-made from a single piece of maple, and the center piece was jigsawed free, and rivited so that it can pivot only an angle a little wider than 90. A spike-like thing is on a beveled surface on the but end, maybe a scribe or a centering point?
Here is my (very) rough sketch and a couple of pictures.

---

You may already have won the $25,000 prize for identifying it, if anyone has offered such a prize. I know I haven't.

Please e-mail me with me any guesses to the origin or use, however far out.

~~~I Gotta Guess~~~

<>--------------------------------------------------------------<>

No one to talk with; all by myself,
No one to walk with, but I'm happy on the shelf.
Ain't Misbehavin', I'm savin' my love for you.

I know for certain, the one I love,
I'm through with flirtin', it's just you I'm thinkin' of.
Ain't Misbehavin', I'm savin' my love for you.

Like Jack Horner, in the corner
Don't go nowhere, what do I care?
Your kisses are worth waitin' for ....
... Believe me ...

I don't stay out late, don't care to go,
I'm home about eight; just me and my radio,
Ain't misbehavin', I'm savin' my love for you!

<>------<> <>--------------------------<>

Do you dare to click here?

<>------<> ~ rgb ~ <>--------------------------<>

Raster is to Vector

as

MP3 is to MIDI.

~ rgb ~

Well, Meredith did it. I was blown away by a post of hers. Crepuscular Garden This one was a gentle story, told is such a way to seem like she was whispering it in my ear. What a concept! Your experience is to absorb and observe and participate to the maximum of your awareness at the time. But night turns silently into day in a secret process each day, whether you are there to take it in or not.

In a way, it is the proof to the age old debate about the tree in the forest on the desert island. Of course the scene is played out . . . at the dawn and in the forest. . It may be played in slo-mo due to your perception of it, or with the backdrop of your sighs or gasps, or all by itself in a natural process, getting along just fine without you, thanks.

I have additional thoughts of her use of the word crepuscular. This takes me back to high school to a friend who was my close friend but nobody knew how deep it went (but that's another story) . Mike had just come back from a special summer science program in Texas, showing me a bunch of fossils he had found there, and telling me all about his great time. I don't know why it stuck with me, but he told me that he had learned this new word crepuscular, that he told me, or I interpreted what he told me to be the look of the sun's rays bursting through the clouds - it was like that in the sky that day - sort of like the Sunday school books showed when god was beaming from the clouds. Years after, I looked up the word, but never found that meaning listed, so I had sort of thought I had remembered it wrong for all that time. But today, when I looked it up from Merry's post, I dug further. Crepuscular itself means 1. of, pertaining to, or resembling twilight; dim; indistinct. 2. Zool.appearing or active in the twilight, as certain bats and insects. But . . . crepuscular RAY was listed as "a twilight ray of sunlight shining through breaks in high clouds and illuminating dust particles in the air". Wow,1963 revisited.


I have to finish the Mike story - hey this is my blog - I can go on an on and on if I want to. Mike was Michael Pridgeon, my classmate who killed himself in a shocking way during senior year. As I said before, I was his close friend, but in a cruel twist of society nonsense, nobody seemed to care or know about that. I was mainly a loner. Mike was basketball star, class president, scholar, in the "in crowd" dated who he pleased, all that crap that evidently didn't matter to him in the end. We had been at the football game the night before, had been in the Marching Band, and we had some disturbing conversations that I can't go into. We talked about doing some harmless mischief, the worst of which was we almost got on the bus to the other school, Victor or somewhere - we didn't care where. We were very close to doing it, even though we would have been in trouble, and the adventure seemed a tempting thing. I kicked myself for not letting him talk me into it, because he shot himself the next morning. Of course I had no idea he would do anything like that, it was not even on my radar screen, as they say, but in retrospect, I know that he was desperate and unhappy, and knew things that would be at least interesting to his parents. Did anyone ask me if I knew anything about Mike? No. Did I even get invited to the funeral? As an afterthought. His big basketball buddies and self-appointed friends all were anointed as pall bearers and all that, and I was in the shadows. Please don't take this as a jealous or self-pity thing. I was then, and am now actually proud of my independence and separation from the mainstream, and it helped my character to be less dependent on the whims of others. But it is a strange thing how things play out, and you can't help but wonder about things that might have been.

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