Friday, July 16, 2004

Does this work?

I saw this ad for a light control in one of those mail-order catalogs. 
Now I am not a rocket scientist, but how does this thing work?
 

Let's see. . .
1. It is dark out and the bulb comes on.
2. Since the sensor is inches from the bulb, it will now think it is light, so the lamp will go off.  
3. Then since it is dark, the light will logically come on. . . .??? 
4. Since it is light, the lamp will turn off. . . .???



Wednesday, July 14, 2004

A '60s flashback to a Ray Stephens classic (non-PC).

Let me tell you 'bout Ahab the Arab
The sheik of the burning sand
He had em'ralds and rubies just a-dripping off of him
And a ring on every finger of his hand
He wore a big old turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And every evening about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde.

And ride through the night to the Sultan's tent where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of the seven veils, the swingingest number one dancer in the sultan's whole harem, 'cause like, him and her had a thing going. You know, they'd been carrying on for some time now behind the Sultan's back and you could hear him talk to his camel. As he rode out across the dunes, his voice would cut through the still night desert air and he'd say, (@#$^&$&%%&%&$##%%^^) which is Arabic for, "Woa babies". And Clyde would say, ("&^%&^%&^%&^%&^$). Well, he brought his camel to a screeching halt at the rear of Fatima's tent, jumped off Clyde, snook around the corner and into the tent he went. There he saw Fatima lying on a zebra skin rug, wearing rings on her fingers and bells on her toes and a bone in her nose, ho, ho.

There she was, friends and neighbors, lying there in all her radiant beauty, eating on a raisin and a grape and an apricot and a pomegranate and a bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three hershey bars, and sipping an R-ER-C coke cola, listening to her transistor, watching the Grand Ole Opry and reading Mad Magazine while she sang, "Does your chewing gum lose its flavor?" And Ahab walked up to her and he said, (%*^*&*&^*&%**$##%*&*) which is Arabic for , "Let's twist again like we did last summer, babies." An she said "he he, Crazy baby." 'Round and around and around and around etc. And that's the story of Ahab, the Arab, the sheik of the burning sand.